by Colleen Langenfeld
Copyright (c) 2005
http://www.paintedgold.com/moms
"There were 64.7 million employed women
in the U.S. in 2004. Seventy-four percent worked full time, while
the remaining 26 percent worked part time." Source: US Department
of Labor.
No wonder moms are wiped out. We are working
hard...and are more than just 'busy'.
We juggle full time and part time jobs, corporate
work and home offices. We utilize flextime, job-sharing and telecommuting.
Some of us even run our own businesses.
And that's just the beginning.
When we leave our 'jobs', we often jump into
our true love, parenting. Homework, sports, music, clubs, youth
groups, teacher conferences and more. We strive very hard to balance
it all. We know we cannot do everything, but we do try to choose
our priorities carefully. To channel our main focus on what is
most important and valuable to us.
And that is precisely where many of us begin
to fight the battle with frustration.
No matter what your individual schedule, you
may feel as though you could use a bit more order and a little
more relief in your day-to-day life. But if you are like many
working mothers, you simply feel overwhelmed. And when you feel
overwhelmed, you may not think there's any way to improve your
situation.
Well, there is.
As a member of the vast working moms club, I
am going to suggest a slightly difference approach - a new perspective
- that may just work better for you. I call it the Working Mother's
Challenge because when I talk to working mothers, they often sound
locked into their own particular way of thinking. And it can be
a challenge to change our way of thinking; to move from being
stuck and feeling overwhelmed to a position of feeling more in
control.
So my suggestion is simple. What if, instead
of thinking that you have to work 'harder' or 'do more', the answer
lies in trying 'different'? What if you challenge yourself to
look for a fresh way of approaching an ongoing, frustrating task?
After all, who says you have to do it the same way over and over?
Especially if you are unhappy with the results.
One solution to coping with some of our feelings
of frustration and overwhelm as working mothers lies in making
little changes. One at a time, consistently and according to our
own time table. As working moms, we are often accustomed to multitasking,
juggling multiple challenges at a time. But sometimes that super-efficiency
can work against us. Instead of spinning your wheels, working
hard but effecting little change, try zeroing in on one irritation
that is honestly bugging you.
Maybe it's... - not feeling comfortable with
your kids' after school arrangements. - always having to hunt
for your keys. Again and again. - coming home to a predictably
messy, chaotic house. - consistently missing deadlines. Even by
just a little.
These irritations are small, but very real. It
may surprise you how much better you will feel by fixing them.
So take the energy you normally use to stress over these personal
or professional issues and focus instead on finding just one solution
that will actually change the result you are getting. Be willing
to explore more than one fix, hunting down the answer that works
best for you. Then stay with that solution, practicing it, until
it no longer feels new and unfamiliar, but is a comfortable part
of your routine.
Another key idea. The solutions you test don't
need to be 'perfect'. In other words, your goal is to reduce OR
eliminate your frustration about a particular challenge. If you
insist on only trying what you perceive as 'perfect' solutions,
you will probably never even get started making a change. You
will stay right where you are. Instead, look for answers that
have the potential to make things better, at least to some degree.
That is the litmus test for a solution worth your time and energy
in implementing it.
Then once a week, once a month, or whatever works
best for you, pick another irritation and find another genuine
improvement. By using this approach, you are making consistent,
tangible forward movement that you can feel and experience. You
are actually reaping the rewards from your efforts. In addition,
you are in control of what changes you make and when. You can
slow down or speed up. It is completely up to you.
And, best of all, you can kiss your nasty frustration
habit good-bye!
