by Mark Walters
http://www.cashflowinstitute1.com/Articles.html
© 2007
Every part of our business and life requires
negotiation skills. The ability to negotiate will increase our successes, open
up opportunities, and improve relationships.
Negotiating
skills are not part of this country's formal education, though negotiation is
used more often than math skills, every day. These skills create the core of our
professional and personal lives.
The importance of negotiation
is drastically underestimated in today's work world. Strong negotiation skills
are needed to succeed in life.
What is Negotiation?
There
are three parts to negotiation: communication style, personality type, goals.
Each of these elements need to be balanced between the two people negotiating
before anyone can manipulate a desirable outcome.
Negotiating
is simply "working with other to achieve some beneficial result." It
is one of those skills that takes a few hours to learn and a lifetime to master.
It is not a genetic trait we're born with, like athletic or artistic ability.
No matter what education level or social position, the negotiation skills are
not beyond your capabilities.
It just takes time, a little
education, attention to honing our skills, and your life will be better.
Negotiation
is not the art of manipulating another person. Negotiation is a type of collaboration,
even if you need to convince the other person that it is in their best interest
to work together. Manipulation is forcing your goals and opinions on another person.
Communication Styles
There are four
communication styles. Each of these are combined with four personality groups.
The communication style is their ability to articulate their wants and needs.
A good communicator can identify a person's personality
type and communication style. The communication style a negotiator uses does not
necessarily match the audience's, but the audience will find it familiar and be
comfortable using it.
Some communication styles are directly
to the point, void of facts. Others layout the facts, letting the audience come
to their own opinion before the negotiator offers their opinion or goal. Using
the wrong communication style can make the audience feel like they are being 'sold'
or coerced.
Personality Type
The
personality type determines what the audience considers a strong enough motivation
to change their plans work with you. The negotiator will use the audience's values
and goals to speak using a language, motives, goals, and values their audience
will find appealing.
The audience's personality type will
also determine how long the presentation is, and what props the negotiator uses.
An artistic person will like to see slides. A driver personality will want facts
and figures they can take away with them.
Goals The expert
negotiator does not focus on their goals, but the audience's goals. The art of
negotiating is making the audience believe that they are coming out on top of
the agreement, without the negotiator begging or selling.
Goals
are often motivated by people's desire for relationships, building wealth, improving
security, feeling good about yourself, and achieving a socially 'higher' goal.
A negotiator will use these goals to 'speak' to the audience and help them reach
their goals by reaching their own goals.
Objective
Negotiating
is not a forceful encounter. Act collaboratively, not competitively. It is not
"me against you." The other person is a bargaining partner. Everyone
must come away with a benefit, or the party who has nothing to loose will leave.
This is seen when men fall in love. The court a woman until she marries them,
treating her as the object of their love, instead of an equal partner who must
continually be courted. We see this in business when one company merges with another,
and then guts the minor company, leaving the remaining workers feeling wounded.
It is a big mistake to think you can use negotiations to
get something for nothing. When negotiating, present your case as if both parties
are on equal ground. Everyone can succeed at negotiating if they make "Mutual
Benefit" their mantra.
Summary
There
are many places to learn how to negotiate, about communication styles, and personality
styles. Learning to listen can also give you an edge. Pro negotiators spend more
time listening instead of talking. They do not cut-their-own-throats by cutting
off the audience why their ideas and goals are wrong, or poorly motivated. They
do not finish the audience's sentences. And, in the end, they earn the audience's
trust, the first goal of any pro negotiator.
