© 2007
The Frustration Factor from Glenbridge Publishing
by Gary Crow,
http://www.LeadershipVillage.com
http://www.LeadershipVillage.org
The
following techniques are used by serious and expert negotiators. Watch for them
when negotiating. When they appear, know immediately that you are negotiating
with an expert. Over time, you will find them becoming more and more a part of
your negotiating style.
• When you have gotten most
of what you wanted while remaining within your negotiating limits, stop negotiating.
You
will almost always get about 80 percent of what you want; and trying to get the
other 20 percent frequently jeopardizes the 80 percent you have already gotten.
It may not be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but it is more than adequate
for the good life.
• Never argue.
Remember,
you are a negotiator and arguing only lets the other person know that you are
not a first-class negotiator. Argue if you must; but understand that arguing is
never an appropriate substitute for negotiating.
•
If you can avoid it, never let the negotiations reduce to a single issue.
Avoid
letting negotiations reduce to a single condition either on your list or mine.
If necessary, reintroduce a condition that seems to have already been resolved.
Why? If there is only one issue, then it quickly becomes a simple yes or no decision.
In this case, there is no further room for negotiating; and a box has been created.
One of us has to decide yes or no. It becomes a 'take it or leave it' proposition.
If things get to this point, we are no longer negotiating. Keep enough issues
'on the table' to assure that there is always negotiating content or 'grist for
the mill,' as they say.
• Remember that people do not
want the same things.
You know someone is running a game
on you if he/she says, 'After all, we want the same thing.' This is virtually
never true. You want to actualize your interest and I want to actualize mine.
We may have some shared or common interest; but we will also have some interest
that are not shared. As a skilled negotiator, you will recognize and acknowledge
both our shared interests and those interests we hold as individuals.
•
Understand and mention my needs, problems, and interests.
When
you do this, though, do not state them as facts. Say instead, 'If I understand,
you have a problem (need/interest) that I understand in this way…' Once you
have mentioned the problem as you understand it, ask me, 'Does it seem to you
like I understand or do we need to talk about this some more so I better understand?'
Always convey a sense to me that I, my problems, my needs, and my interests are
important to you and are being taken seriously by you.
•
Always keep your focus on task - on the negotiations.
Never
shift focus to me or to personalities. Even when you are talking with me about
your perceptions of my problems, needs, and interests, do so in ways that are
related to our negotiations - to the transfer conditions.
•Focus
on-task with flexibility.
If my style is to let the conversation
drift, socialize, talk about other things, or to move away from task, 'go with
the flow.' Always be personable, friendly, and interested. At the same time, though,
look for opportunities to return to task gently, tactfully, and without becoming
forceful or pushy.
• Be willing to walk.
Never
get into a position where you are not willing to walk, terminate the negotiations.
If I ever get the impression that you will hang in there no matter what, you are
totally at my mercy. At a minimum, I will probably be able to get you to give
me more than you really wanted to give. Also, I will simply 'dig in' and give
no more than I have already offered. In fact, if I really believe that you will
not walk, you may find me actually reducing my offer. Simply remember that, if
you ever reach a point where you are unwilling to walk, the negotiations are over.
The outcome is totally under my control.
•You are horse
trading.
Remember that 80 percent of the movement will occur
during the final 20 percent of the process. Here we are talking about an old horse
trading principle. Always save a little of your consideration for the final moments
of the negotiating process. Do not run out of negotiating room until you get to
the end of the negotiating process. Always have a couple of options left for horse
trading. Another benefit is that I will leave the negotiation feeling that I got
the last concession. That will make me feel a little smug and feel as if I am
the superior negotiator. Among other things, this will probably lead to my underestimating
you the next time we negotiate.
• Don't become impatient.
The
person with whom you are negotiating will gradually get a little frustrated and
will want to move the process along. He/she will probably be impatient with only
20 percent of the progress being made during the first 80 percent of the available
time. Here, the key is to relax, be patient, and simply out wait the other person.
There is a strong likelihood that he/she will make an additional offer, increase
his/her consideration, or do something else to move the process along. Just by
being more patient and waiting, you have gotten more of what you wanted.
