Copyright
(c) 2008 Mark Silver
Heart Of Business
http://www.heartofbusiness.com/
Have
you ever received (or written) an email like this one?
"Thank
you for your correspondence. We appreciate your desire to contact us, and someone
will get back to you shortly."
Kinda cold and stale,
eh? I'm used to seeing things like this from corporations, and from the back of
our refrigerator, but how about us teensy business folks?
You
don't want to sound like an automaton, but you also don't want to be inappropriately
familiar, or sloppy. And, of course, there's that thought going on in the back
of your head: 'Do I sound unprofessional?'
Professionalism
is a good thing, except that what passes for professionalism in the business world,
really isn't. It's more like zombie-ism.
Where Did Corporate-Speak
Come From?
Professionalism is defined by the Oxford American
Dictionary as "the competence or skill expected of a professional."
Notice
that the definition only refers to "competence or skill." Nowhere in
the definition does it say that you have to starch your shirt, speak in multi-syllabic
gobbledy-gook, or maintain a robotic-like unemotional composure in your writing
and speaking.
Here's what I think happened to professionalism:
As businesses changed from primarily sole proprietor craftsmen to larger and larger
corporations, it became less and less likely that anyone you spoke to at a business
had any real decision-making power at all. And yet, they still had responsibility
for results.
When someone is responsible to create results,
but doesn't have the power to make decisions, what happens? Well, often someone
feels nervous about their job security. And so they play it safe.
Playing
it safe in this instance means hiding by creating as much distance as possible
between them and the situation. And thus good, old-fashioned politeness turns
into: "Please excuse our situation, we are endeavoring to respond in as rapid
a fashion as possible." Ugh! Who talks like that?
Perfection
is a Quality of the Divine.
Here's the obscure, unnamed
hope driving the drivel: "If I handle this perfectly, there won't be any
problems, and it will all work out okay."
Unfortunately,
that's a myth. True perfection belongs only to Source. Although our hearts, as
doorways to the Divine, can swim in that beauty and perfection, we can't really
express perfection. Which is actually a good thing.
Your
clients do want your Divinity. But, what enables them to access it is your humanity.
Your imperfect, vulnerable, quirky, lovable self.
Be Yourself,
Gosh Darn-It!
Listen, it may sound trite, but I'll say it
anyway: Be you! Bring in your sense of humor, your zaniness, your vulnerability.
Show up as a human being with a heart in your communication, and your clients,
readers, customers and anyone else who comes 'round your business will come to
know you. And as they know you, they will love you.
If instead
you hide behind a so-called "professional" demeanor, they won’t
ever get a chance to know you, and so they won’t get a chance to trust you.
And if they don’t come to connect with your heart, then you’re just
another whatever you are, and your sacred, beautiful gift of a business is reduced
to just another commodity, and a less viable one at that.
Be
yourself and people will come to trust you and risk stepping in with you. Then
you and your business will thrive.
It can be a little intimidating,
I admit, to think about letting your hair down, kicking off your shoes, and doing
the boogie-woogie with the folks who show up. So let's take it one step at a time.
Keys
to Doing the Boogie-Woogie.
* Match the situation with the
mood.
If it's an apology email, think about how whatever
mistake you made is affecting the other person. For minor mistakes, a little bit
of self-deprecating humor can help. For big mistakes, humor might sound flippant,
and so going with empathy might be better.
But, either way,
speak human. If you made the same kind of mistake with a friend, what would you
say to her?
"Wow. I totally goofed this up, and I feel
miserable about it. Here's what I want to do to make it up to you."
That
sounds a little more natural, at least for me. How would you say it?
*
How sloppy is too sloppy?
If you get too chummy you risk
TMI- too much information, as when one business owner whom I hardly knew shared
some pretty deep stuff about their personal life, and I felt uncomfortable.
Remember
that by cracking the professional wall you are trying to build trust and connection
with people. So, if you're thinking of sharing personal information, spend a few
moments in your heart and see it from their perspective. Will sharing help or
hinder the connection?
Something like this statement is
taking attention from the listener: "Hey, I had a goiter removed last September,
wanna see it?" It's not creating empathy, it's asking the listener to participate
in the speaker's experience..
On the other side, people
have come to Heart of Business asking about: "How can I handle a business
when I'm struggling with a chronic illness?"
Then,
I'll usually share that my wife struggled with a chronic illness for years (she's
pretty much fully recovered now, thank God), and so I know first-hand how a chronic
illness can affect a family business. This builds trust that I actually do 'get
it'- I share the story so I can participate in their experience.
Sometimes
you do walk a line, and yet vulnerability, humor, and personality make such a
big difference. Risk a little. Take some chances. I think you’ll be surprised
at how much fun your business can be, and how much your clients will love you
once you let go of being some robotic vision of "professional."
The
best to you and your business,
Mark Silver
