by Karen Friedman
http://www.karenfriedman.com
©
2008
So, the day has finally arrived. You've earned it.
You've fantasized about it. You're expertly qualified which is why you've been
selected for the job. But you walk into that executive suite and start to sweat.
Yes, you want a seat at the table, but now that you have one, do you really know
what to do?
As a communications coach, I earn my living
teaching others how to talk. But talking doesn't always translate to leading,
which many of us learn early on in our careers. As a television reporter in Philadelphia
some years back, I recall receiving a phone call from my son's daycare as I was
about to leave for work. They said he was running a high fever and I needed to
come get him. But on that day, I had no one to take care of him which is what
I explained to the executive producer when I called. Expecting her to understand,
she politely said "that is not our problem and we expect you at work."
Terribly upset, I told her that wasn't possible and there was nothing I could
do.
After a tense silence, she said well there is something
you can do. You can hang up and call back. Tell whoever answers the phone, that
you are running a high fever and can't get out bed and don't mention that we spoke.
Then she hung up. It was at that moment I realized sometimes leading is about
what you don't say because quiet understanding can make you seem more real.
In
today's business world like the current political landscape, employees will tell
you they are clamoring for authenticity. They will also tell you that what management
says or doesn't say affects morale as much as decision making which is why communicating
early and often is essential when leading.
Communicate Early
and Often
If you aren't talking, that means someone else
is. In the absence of information, rumors take over. Rumors aren't simply repeated;
they're typically refined and embellished so they can fill in the blanks that
aren't being communicated. For example, are pink slips being handed out? Is the
company being sold? In today's world of instant communications and social media—office
rumors can hit the internet at lightening speed sending what you could have controlled
completely out of control.
Empower Through Questions
In
his book The First 90 Days, Harvard Business School Professor Michael Watkins
recommends asking questions that will elicit information to help you create strategies
for success. Specifically, "If you were me, what would you focus attention
on?" These are open-ended questions that create dialogue and enable leaders
to reach out, collect various viewpoints and encourage others to express themselves
so they feel their voice is important. It doesn't mean you seek input on every
decision, but questions like these encourage collaboration and prevent an atmosphere
of us vs. them: What's your opinion? What do you think we should do about it?
What do you think should change? What are your biggest concerns? In your experience...?
Say What You Don't Know How you communicate during your first days on a new job
tells others what you're about. Remember, the organization searched long and hard
to fill your position and you have a seat at the table because you have something
they need. But it's okay not to know what you don't know. Kung Fu Tzu (Confucius)
said: "When you know something, say what you know. When you don't know something,
say that you don't know. That is knowledge." This allows you to understand
so you can effectively gather information before participating in the conversation.
Once
you do join in, think about the headline to avoid making listeners work too hard
to figure out what you're saying. For example, an executive trying to convince
investors to strap in for a rocky ride that was would be worth the results, spent
six minutes (I clocked her) delivering background information before focusing
attention on what her listeners cared about. Finally, she said: "This is
an exciting product with great potential to address a huge unmet need and we have
a strategic plan in place to hit 1 billion in sales in 2008."
When
you fail to deliver headlines up front, not only do you risk tuning people out,
but you undermine your own credibility. Instead of touting how you did things
in your last job or delivering data dumps, keep your communications short, direct
and to the point. People are bombarded with so much information that according
to an article in Presentation Magazine, our attention spans have actually dwindled
because we can't handle it all.
Dare to be Different
It's
equally important to differentiate between listeners or you risk treating everyone
the same way. Sometimes, this is a simple as thinking in terms of expert or non
expert. If you are speaking to team members about a new product, they may want
to know about competition, safety data and strategic planning. Yet, if you ran
into your neighbor at the supermarket, she might be more interested in side effects,
benefits and how it differs from what is already on the market. So before you
speak, ask yourself two questions: Who am I talking to and what do they care about?
Make Others Feel Important
Just
because people know you doesn't mean they aren't watching you. In any new role,
you should greet everyone you meet with direct eye contact and enthusiasm to make
them feel you are approachable and genuinely interested in their success. That
means in your hurry to move on and tackle your to do list, you must focus on what
they are saying. In an article on communication and leadership, Donald Clark explains
that in the mid 1960s, Paul Ekman studied emotions and discovered six facial expressions
that almost everyone recognizes world-wide: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust,
and surprise. But when he first presented this to a group of anthropologists,
he was booed off the stage, yet today it's widely accepted. However, a controversy
regarding the amount of context needed to interpret these emotions still lingers.
For example, if someone says they have a great idea and you agree, but frown at
them when speaking, does that mean you don't really think it's great? Or, were
you just thinking about something else? Giving off extra signals can create confusion
instead of context.
Finally, think back to your own experience
to help you lead. Perhaps you had a boss who put you down or worked with someone
who didn't seem to value your input. When you make the people around you feel
that their opinion counts, you make them feel important and when you make people
feel important you create a climate of trust and mutual respect.
